i just had sex bonerless
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
