I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
