WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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