the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
