She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
