You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She's JV to your varsity
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
