Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
