yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
