I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
