Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize