Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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