dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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