The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
