Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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