Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
