Can i not drive my cunt home
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize