i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
