try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
