Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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