Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
