don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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