I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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