I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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