If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
