Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
When are your genitals available?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
