I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
