Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
