can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize