he thought i was a dude.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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