You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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