So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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