I wish I could teleport
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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