You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
