but the lizard people decide everything anyway
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
