Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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