Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
