is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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