this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
