i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
