We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just want nice things and good sex
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
