Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
