I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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