Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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