just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
