It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
YAS. BRING CRAB.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
