i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize