i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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