You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
