Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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