remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I met the friendliest cop last night
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize