I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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