No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
