Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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