U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize