Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
