And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
