So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You did what with his pubic hair?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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