I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
