we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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