i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i think i just lost a toe
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
