I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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