did you get engaged???
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
