Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
