I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just had sex on a roof
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
