don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
