I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
