And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
