what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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