I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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