They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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