pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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