Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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