Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need water and some morals
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
