What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
